Just One Word

The next item from R. Breiter’s list is to study a portion of the Shulchan Aruch every day. This is actually a practice that I had kept previously but had discontinued after a few repetitions. Picking it up again I was surprised how much easier it was to understand some of the laws and their explanations and how much more interested I was in them. It could be that I am working with a greater knowledge base now. Alternatively, my level of observance is so much greater than it was, and now I am more familiar with some of the halachic intricacies and perhaps don’t have the mental opposition to learning and doing them that I may have had previously. The result is that I am enjoying my daily portions instead of just ticking off the required number of pages.

Item #12 on the list is Hitbodedut. R. Breiter says keep at least an hour a day. I try to have hitbodedut every day, although it’s something I find easy to slack on, because the whole confessional part is just very uncomfortable, because….well….I always have a lot, you know…..to confess, and who wants to go on every day about how big a screw-up they are. Thanking Hashem, making requests for my needs, that’s easy enough, but I really get waylaid by the viduy. Also, I don’t like to talk that much, given the opportunity I could go for days without engaging anyone in conversation, so it’s tough keeping up a one-sided conversation for an hour straight, picture a really, really terrible blind date. Fortunately Rabbenu has foreseen that there are people like me.

A Day in the Life of a Breslover Chassid, pg. 49:
Even if you can’t open your mouth at all, just the fact that you stand there and put your hope in G-d, lifting your eyes upwards and forcing yourself to speak, even if you only say a single word the whole hour – all this endures forever.