Thursday, November 16, 2006

"I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong"

Now that a few weeks have gone by the new additions to my daily spiritual practice have stabilized. The next two items from Rav Breiter's list were: saying the K'riat Shema before going to sleep, and making a reckoning. Now the first wasn't completely a new addition since I had already been saying the Shema before sleep, but I hadn't been doing all the nighttime prayers that went with it. The only difficulty I experienced was staying awake through it all. By the time bedtime has arrived I'm ready to go to sleep almost immediately so it was a little tough keeping the eyes open those extra 15 minutes (have I mentioned how slowly I read Hebrew?) that I needed to complete the nighttime prayers.
The second part, making a reckoning, had me a little puzzled as Rav Breiter lists it after the nighttime prayers, which seemed to indicate that it was said after completing them. I had always understood that after concluding the nighttime prayers one was not to speak between the prayers and falling asleep. In fact it was best if you could fall asleep while mentally repeating the Shema or Tehillim. I usually lose consciousness somewhere around Boruch Shem. So I asked Rabbi Dovid Sears about this and he responds:

Teshuvah and cheshbon ha-nefesh are part of Kriyas Shema al ha-Mitah. I never heard anything special about at what point you should do it: before saying the Shema or after, such as during the Tehillim, etc. As for speaking after the final berakhah, I assume that one should have finished any words of hisbodedus that were part of the cheshbon ha-nefesh by the time one has recited the berakhah.

So this would indicate that the reckoning is done out loud and during the nighttime prayers.

Rabbi Ozer Bergman, in his book Where Earth and Heaven Kiss, writes:

Some people practice a limited form of hitbodedut - namely, the "accounting" part. They set aside a time to review their Jewish successes and failures vis a vis the outside (i.e., mitzvah observance) and the inside (i.e., their faith, trust and integrity). This is usually done silently.

This seems to be a description of Rav Breiter's "taking a reckoning" and if done silently could be conducted after the bedtime prayers. So I tried that approach, and guess what, I fell asleep in the middle of it everytime. That obviously wasn't going to work, so I kept the accounting silent but inserted it just prior to the final brocha and that seems to be working well.

As a side note, A Simple Jew has a review, of Rav Bergman's book on his blog. I would also recommend this book and not just because Rav Bergman quotes from Scarlet Begonias and a number of other Grateful Dead and Jerry Garcia songs.

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